


Ruining Them from Scratch

by romanticalgirl



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fatherhood, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 12:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. -- Jon Stewart</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruining Them from Scratch

**Author's Note:**

> A "nice things" fic for [](http://brooklinegirl.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://brooklinegirl.dreamwidth.org/)**brooklinegirl**. You initially said maybe Frank/Gerard blowjobs, but then you mentioned them being dads, and them being DADS is a thing that I love a lot too. So I give you this. I hope you like it.

  
“Seven.” Frank sits down at the table and gestures to the coffee pot. Gerard understands certain things better than anyone, so he pours Frank a cup and passes it over to him. Frank pours in soy milk and stirs it with a pencil that’s lying on the table.

“Seven?” Gerard finally asks once Frank has taken his first sip and moaned softly. Frank nods and takes several more drinks, probably too quickly for as hot as the coffee is, but Gerard knows what it’s like to have dark purple bags under his eyes and to feel like his skin is either too tight or too loose for his body. “Seven AM?”

Frank laughs, and it’s not his normal giggle. It’s got the maniacal edge that means they’re not getting any work done today. “No. No. Seven AM is...that’s heaven. That’s fucking heaven with angels and harps and shit.”

“What time did you wake up?”

“Four-thirty AM.”

“Oh.” Gerard pours more coffee.

“Yesterday.”

He tops Frank’s cup off as high as he can. “Miles and the girls giving you a hard time?”

Frank drinks from the mug, his face flushing as he pretty much inhales the hot liquid. “Seven straight hours of diarrhea.”

“Oh.”

“Five outfits before we just left Miles in the diaper.” He pushes the mug aside and puts his head down on the table, cradled in his arms. “The girls...they refused to be naked. So we’re on the fourth load of laundry.”

“Oh, man.” Gerard gets up and rubs Frank’s back, curving his fingers over his shoulder. “How’s Jamia doing?”

“She kicked me out of the house. You know how Linda Blair was all cute and shit and then suddenly she was the devil? That was my wife. She was like spitting pea soup and cursing me and threatening to rip off my dick. She said I did this to her, and so I needed to suffer.”

“Oh. Well.”

“First period post-baby and it’s...well, I’m glad I’m dealing with the diarrhea, let me put it that way. But man, she’s raging hormonal and it ain’t pretty.” He groans as Gerard’s fingers dig into his shoulders and the back of his neck. “She told me to save myself while I had the chance. Oh...god, that feels good.”

“Why don’t you go in the back room and lie down. Get some rest.”

“We’re going to work on the song today.”

 

“No. Today, you’re going to go in the back room and lie down and get some much needed rest.” He strokes his fingers through Frank’s hair. “Don’t argue with me either, because you did the same to me when I called you up about Bandit when Linds was...” He stops as Frank makes a small sound, something like a soft snore. He listens closer and he hears it again, rumbling from somewhere in Frank’s chest. “The couch would have been more comfortable, but this’ll do.”

**

“Cherry’s decided she wants to drive.”

“Bandit wants to be a superhero ballerina. Saving the world _en pointe_.” Gerard picks up a napkin and rolls it into a small tube then unrolls it, repeating the same movements over and over at least ten times before he picks it up and chews on the end of it. His fingers hold it easily, years of cigarettes giving him an instinct. Frank just raises his eyebrows. “Shut up. I’m working on it.”

“You pretty much kicked drugs and booze cold turkey, dude. This should be a piece of cake.”

“I managed to kick them cold turkey because I _had_ cigarettes. This is like torture.” He chews on the napkin a little more violently then puts it down on the table only to pick it up again. “How are you doing it? I mean, aren’t you going crazy?”

“Nah. The kids keep me running enough that I don’t think about it. And when I do think about it, it’s usually right before I crash and I don’t have the energy to sneak outside for a smoke.” He takes the napkin out from in front of Gerard and wads it up, tossing it in the trash. “You want coffee?”

“If anyone tries to make me give up coffee, I will eviscerate them with nail clippers.” He says it in an even tone, and Frank doesn’t blink at all. “A man needs his vices, Frank. Even good men have their vices.”

“No one’s going to take coffee from you, Gee. We’re not even going to make you drink decaf.” Frank takes the tablet in front of Gerard and turns it, glancing at the sketches. “UA stuff?”

“Yeah. I have to keep busy, you know? Need something for my hands to do. I’ve had the story, now I’m just seeing if it works with action, and then Gabriel will take it over and make it amazing, and then we’ll be back on the album and it won’t be so bad, right? It gets better, right?”

“It does. I don’t even really think about it anymore. Except, you know, when I’m doing shit I did while I was smoking. Touring’s going to be a bitch, but I think about how fucking amazing we’re going to sound, and it kind of gives me chills.” Frank laughs and tilts his chair back, holding onto the edge of the table to balance. “We’re the fucking adults, man.”

“The fucking _parents_.” Gerard giggles and it’s a loose, relaxed sound. It’s the laugh Frank loves because it means things are good for all of them. “We’re the people parents warned their kids about.”

“We’ll be warning out kids about accountants and shit.”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy.” Bandit’s cry seems to echo through the house.  
Frank jerks at the cry, high-pitched and sharp.

“What the hell was that?”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddy. I gotta pooooooooooooooooooooooooooootty.”

Gerard just blows out a breath, shrugging and smiling. “My master’s voice.”

**

Frank is pissed about Halloween. Which, he has to admit, is something he never thought he’d say or think. Because Halloween is a magical fucking time. But right now it’s the day after and he’s fucking calling around trying to find someone to replace the siding on his house, but everyone’s booked up already or busy with their own shit in Sandy’s aftermath, and this is not how Frank envisioned this fucking year.

Halloween is _sacred_. You can fuck with Christmas and Easter and Hanukkah and fucking Thanksgiving, but Halloween is untouchable. Apparently Mother Nature didn’t get the memo, because there is no fucking Halloween this year. There’s just pictures from his friends in LA out trick-or-treating because they didn’t have a freak fucking hurricane, and as cute as Mikey and Gerard and Bandit are, all the pictures do is make Frank angrier.

Three days later his anger hasn’t abated much, and he’s gone around to everyone in the local area to put on a secondary Halloween so that the kids can celebrate, and almost everyone’s agreed except the fucker four doors down, but Frank knew he was an asshole, so that’s fine. He’s not going to let a little wind and rain and flooding and the fact that no one can replace his fucking siding, what the fuck, get in the way of what Halloween is all about.

It’s not supposed to start until six, so he’s annoyed when the doorbell rings at 5:30, because he’s got Superman ready to go, but only a red jellybean because the purple one doesn’t want to put on her tights and she’s screaming at Jamia, so Frank answers the door with a scowl. “What?”

“Happy Counterrevolutionary, Unca Frank!” Bandit launches herself at him in full Boo Berry make up, including her face and her hair underneath the straw hat she’s wearing. “Happy Birthdayween!”

“Hey. Hey.” He swings her up in the air in self-defense and then sets her on her feet in front of him. “You’re in California.”

“No we’s not!” She giggles, and there’s no doubt whatsoever as to who her dad is. “We’s here to see you and celebrate Birthdayween with you!”

Frank looks past her to where Gerard is, sans costume, but looking suitably Halloween-y in his poncho and black pants, his hair mussed and oily from where he’s obviously been raking his hands through it. Gerard on a plane isn’t always a fun thing. “You’re insane.”

“Runs in the family.” Gerard smiles and watches Bandit run inside the house to find the rest of the inhabitants. It’s never clear if she’ll get diverted before the kids by the dogs or if the humans will win the contest. A shriek of “Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!!!!” answers the question and Frank just shakes his head and laughs.

“You coming inside or standing out there?”

“You haven’t given me candy yet.”

“We’re giving out raisins.”

“You really want your house egged, don’t you?” Gerard moves past him, and Frank inhales on instinct. Gerard smells like art supplies and warmth and home in a way that’s different than what Frank has here. Gerard notices and raises an eyebrow sharply. “I haven’t been smoking.”

“That wasn’t what I was doing!” Frank’s brow furrows. “I trust you, man. You know that.”

“I know.” Gerard grins. “But if I can’t give you shit, what am I supposed to do with myself?” He keeps walking deeper into the house, detouring at the kitchen. “Is there coffee?”

“You could say hi to everyone first,” Frank reminds him, following after him to catch Gerard by the drape of the shawl and tug him back toward the twins’ bedroom. Jamia has managed to get both jellybeans dressed and standing on the floor, though the red face doesn’t really match the rest of the purple costume. “Look what the storm blew in.”

“Don’t believe him.” Gerard kisses Jamia’s cheek. “He opened the door and said ‘trick or treat’ and he got me.”

“So no definite answer yet.” Frank grins at Gerard as Bandit finally comes into the room, cuddling Mama in her arms, half of the dog dangling precariously just a few inches over the floor and the rest held in a tight hug. “So, you know, we have company.”

“Not company.” Gerard shakes his head and presses two fingers to Jamia’s mouth. “Because company you have to take care of, and you do not have to take care of us. We have a hotel room and we’ve already eaten, and you are going to rest here if you want and answer the door while I help Frank take the kids around. Or you and Frank can go out with the kids, and B and I can man and woman the door.”

Jamia looks at Frank and then at Gerard. She starts to sigh, but it gets carried off by a yawn. “You guys go. Have fun.”

“We will.” Frank kisses her softly and hugs her, feeling the tension in her body as she relaxes against him. “Love you.”

“Just somehow snag me a Twix, okay?”

“We’ll treat it like a holy mission.” Frank claps his hands together. “Who wants candy?”

All three girls scream, and Miles starts wailing just to join in. Jamia shoves Frank toward the door. “Go away. Now.”

**

“Don’t you want any candy, B?” Frank asks as the twins come tottering back from the doorway behind her.

“Nope.” She shakes her head seriously and Frank gives Gerard a disbelieving look.

“No?”

“Nope. We’s just here for normal support.” Gerard leans in and whispers something in her ear and Bandit nods. “Moral support.”

“Well, I know we all appreciate it, but...”

“We practiced,” Gerard cuts in. “On the plane. I kept asking if she wanted candy, and she always said no. She did great.”

Frank presses his lips together to keep from laughing. “Did they ask you for proof she was your daughter?”

“Yeah!” Gerard shrugs. “Apparently someone thought I was being creepy.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Frank takes a drink of his coffee, the travel much tucked in the cup holder of Miles’s stroller. “Of course, I can’t quite believe you flew out here. You’re supposed to be in L.A. Doing your thing.”

“I am. Not, like, right this second, but I am. You know. It’s just...it’s your birthday and favorite holiday that got messed up, and, like, I can do this with you so Jamia gets a chance to rest, and then I can look after the kids when we get back so you guys can have some time. You know, go out and eat or drive around or whatever.”

“And if we accidentally stayed in a hotel overnight?”

“Is that likely?”

“Frankenstorm, Gee. Weird shit happens.”

“Yeah.” Gerard laughs. “I even happen to have a hotel room you could use.”

“Well, let’s get to trick-or-treating then.” Frank starts down the sidewalk, easily catching up to where the girls have walked on ahead. “All right, animals. Let’s go scare the bejeebers out of Mrs. Iovancelic.”

**

When they get home the next morning, there are piles of candy wrappers on the tables and Gerard is asleep in the papasan chair, curled up in a ball. Jamia goes to check on the kids and Frank walks over and holds the Starbucks cup under Gerard’s nose.

Gerard flaps a hand in his direction and snuggles deeper into the cushion. “G’way, Mikey.”

“I brink you coffee more often than he does. He just drinks it all.”

Gerard opens one eye then closes it, dropping his hand down over his face. “Time?”

“Eight.”

“You guys could have slept in.” He sits up and takes the coffee, inhaling deeply before taking his first sip.

“You’ve obviously forgotten this stage of parenthood. We did sleep in.” Frank settles on the couch and takes a drink from his cup. “I’m guessing the only reason you’re still asleep is the sugar crash.”

“I was up with Miles a couple hours ago. Got him settled again pretty quick though.”

“Sorry he was rough on you.”

“Oh, no. He was fine. Just some gas, I think. I held him and we talked and he was cool.”

“Good.” Frank sets his cup down and stretches, groaning softly as several joints pop. “Man, we crashed as soon as we hit the bed.” Gerard quirks an eyebrow, and Franks shrugs and laughs. “I didn’t say we went right to the bed.”

Gerard laughs then looks back toward the bedrooms as he hears the girls’ voices. “I should get Bandit and get out of your hair. Our flight’s at three.”

“You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah. Our job here is done.”

“You flew out here for one night.” Frank can’t help smiling, not actually surprised, but definitely pleased. “For me.”

Gerard tilts his head as if he doesn’t quite understand Frank’s question. “Well...yeah. You’re my brother, Frank. Besides. You’d do it for me.”

**

Frank doesn’t let go until Miles squawks and wiggles out of his grip. He falls on his ass then crawls over to his stuffed Ugly Doll that Uncle Mikey and Aunt Alicia gave him and starts gnawing on its foot. He’s got a few teeth now, and at some point he’s going to do some serious damage.

“You take care of the womenfolk, all right, little man?”

“Ahem,” Jamia raises her eyebrow. “I think it was the womenfolk who conquered Daddy Mountain last night.”

“We did, Daddy.” Cherry nods seriously. “We won-ded.”

“You did win,” Frank agrees, picking her up off the couch and hugging her too, probably too tight. “But we want Miles to feel big and strong, right?”

“He don’t not have to,” Lily interrupts. “We protect him.” She nods as if everything is resolved.

“Okay, well, you two tigers take care of your mommy, okay? Don’t let her get into too much trouble.”

“We make sure she be good.” Cherry twists and looks at Jamia. “You be good, Mommy.”

Jamia salutes then comes over and takes Cherry from Frank’s arms. “Lily’s turn.”

He nods and walks over to where Lily is drawing and picks her up, getting a crayon in his ear for his trouble. He holds her close, squeezing her as he inhales the soft scent of soap and innocence. “Be good girls, huh?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“I’ll call every day.” He sets Lily down and turns to Jamia. “You could still drive me.”

“Gee’s already here. Besides, it’s nap time.” She kisses him softly until she takes his breath away. “Have fun.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“We’ll make a few shows.”

“Call if you need anything.”

“Goodbye, Frank.”

He rests his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

“We love you too.” She kisses the tip of his nose. “Now go away.”

Frank nods and heads for the front door where Gerard’s waiting. He’s smiling, Frank’s bag on his shoulder. “Fuck you, fucker. Why are you smiling?”

“It’s nice, isn’t it? Knowing you have this to come home to.”

“Yeah, it is, but first I have to leave it, so quit your fucking smiling.” He takes the bag away from him. “Besides, I know you’re going to be crying like a baby when you say goodbye to B.”

“Didn’t say it wasn’t hard.” Gerard waves back toward the living room then heads out. Frank lingers for a moment longer, taking in his family before finally walking out the door.

“We should do a family bus.”

“Next tour.”

“Linds and B, Jamia and the pack, Christa and the Toroette.”

“Next tour, Frank. We’re still working in the whole. But the next one.”

“You think Mikey’d feel weird?”

Gerard chews at his bottom lip, his fingers tapping at the steering wheel. He’s constantly in motion, worse now since he’s stopped smoking. “No. I mean, they don’t want kids of their own, so he’d be okay. Alicia could come too though.”

“And Bunny. And Piglet.”

“And Mama. And Sweet Pea. And Peppers." Gerard laughs. “Between kids and pets, touring’s going to be fucking expensive.”

Frank’s phone chirps and he glances at it, a couple of pictures of the girls and Miles down for their naps. He touches the screen, already missing them. “Fuck, Gee.” He closes his eyes tight. “This si the second time. It should be easier, shouldn’t it?”

Gerard’s gaze darkens for a minute, and Frank can practically see his thoughts. Enough things have happened in the world since their last tour that remind him that easier isn’t really a possibility now. No more taking shit for granted.

“It never gets easier.” Gerard’s voice is different, serious. “I don’t want it to be easy. I want it to hurt when I leave, because if it does, then I know the music’s worth the hurt, and I know that I’m not sacrificing something good for the wrong reasons. If it’s easy…” He sighs. “If it’s easy, then I’m not really leaving something important behind, you know?”

“I just wish it didn’t feel like an elephant was sitting on my chest.”

“If that’s how you feel now, just imagine how much better it is that you gave up smoking.”

“ _We_ gave up smoking.”

“Right, right.” They pull into the parking lot where the bus is waiting. Mikey’s getting goodbye kisses from Piglet, and Ray looks torn between supervising his guitars and the halo of red-gold curls on his daughter’s head. Frank sees Bandit pull on Lindsey’s hand as soon as she sees their car, tapping her foot impatiently next to them as Gerard parks.

Frank heads for the bags in the back as Gerard climbs out. “Hey, Miss B.”

“Daddy. You tooked the car with Major Fuzzyhead inside.” She frowns magnificently until Gerard opens the back door and frees a stuffed giraffe from next to the car seat, handing it to her. “He almost missed his secret mission, Daddy.”

“I’m sorry, honey.” Gerard squats down and looks her in the eye. “There’s still time?”

“He’ll have to use his super-fast jet-motorcycle.”

“I hope he remembered to bring it.”

“Daddy, he’s a _spy_.” She gives Gerard an exasperated look. “When are you going?”

“Pretty soon.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“A couple of months.”

‘Will you see other little girls?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

She frowns and looks at the giraffe instead of Gerard. “But you love me most?”

“The very most spectacular much possible.” Gerard hugs her tight, and Frank almost feels guilty for watching. “I expect to hear all your stories when we talk on the phone or on the computer, okay?”

“Major Fluffyhead’s are secret.”

“Maybe you can whisper those to me when I come home.”

She nods, furrowing her brow. “Take care of Uncle Mikey.”

“Always.”

“Okay. I gitchy-gitchy-goo you.”

Gerard smiles and kisses her forehead. “I gitchy-gitchy-goo you too, General Bandit.” He hugs her again then straightens up and looks at Lindsey. “Guard the home front.”

“Be safe.” She kisses Gerard, and Frank heads for the bus, giving them some privacy. He can feel his family ties tugging, but he’s also starting to feel the pull of the road. His second family joining together again.

“Toro!” He shouts, jumping up onto Ray’s back. “You dirty dog. Let’s hit the road.”

“I’m not the one dragging ass,” Ray grins, reaching behind him to ruffle Frank’s hair.

“Gee’s always last,” Mikey reminds them as he slips past onto the bus.

“Hey, Gee! C’mon!” Frank hollers as he hugs Ray’s neck. “Time’s a-wastin’!”

Gerard jogs over, turning to wave one last time. “Yeah, c’mon. Let’s go. What are we waiting for?”  



End file.
